Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Beast beast when the door is the fire

 I have a buddy late at night in the bedroom of its N quarter (because it is Z / W that season) read all know that the beginning of the fuck is almost silent, my buddy put the broken stereo headset that transferred most open the (loud enough people will wake to sleep) but slowly turn up the sound that is not my point buddy forgot to sound off to the maximum estimated forget that this crop of women suddenly sounded GC computer Even when screaming across the women's dormitory hallway to the bedroom lights are bright people who call thought my buddy from school downtown ** famous

2 asked him once, and stuff like NBA star

that he said: , and grandmother watching the game. Chun suddenly pointing grandmother said, busy on the bus saw one of his colleagues, waved and was made to colleagues complained loudly: Once classes and at the same table passing notes 
he said after I saw us laughing very loudly 
heard the teacher call me up the words on the note read out 

I choked laugh more they want to laugh, but more tolerant

what what the teacher said to me out loud three times

my face is red is red

very loudly, said: teacher teacher teeth teeth there are stars there are satellites dishes dishes dishes teacher teeth teeth there.

... ... The teacher was very silent face was very red

5 was still in college when a funny thing

morning, get up the bell. All up and ready to do morning exercises, grooming, when a man was bleary-eyed way up, squeezing toothpaste, into the washroom, brush your teeth ... ... not 20 seconds into the rushed out shouting: TMD who let me put shoe polish cup it! ! We saw this guy, the mouth is also black than coal, ha ha ha ha ... ...

6 guy with the mother how to how to talk in, and suddenly said, in fact, married guy's wife is not usually pretty loud noise The. Mom stared at me for a long time, simply said: Well, yes, you will marry a handsome guy later .......

7 junior high school is the skin, we learn that brings violence teachers and students often fight. Once again hit by a teacher, I was very fire. And not with the family said, had a stroke wanted to harm the teacher. Da newspaper found a large pile of feces bag, Fang office door, and then lit, knocked on the door away. The teacher opened the door, see a fire without thinking of a leg to step on ...

feel comfortable about it!

8 day study hall monitor saying adults (woman) is very ferocious roar twice basically no one can quarrel

but she went and found a male in the play phone!

feel the squad leader of a male adult mass over the two x-ray

the phone so he caught in the middle of the thigh monitor

1.5
vision has always been an adult
shouted: you play mobile phone?

a male: No!

roared: the middle of the thigh you what it is?

a male did not hesitate: JJ

9 to the market to buy things today and saw a super cute kitty shop to cheer.

inadvertently, in the walking cat tail on the ass when I found it one more ball hairs, much like the rabbit's tail. So I told boss said: your cat a good special, actually has two tails.

boss seems to not understand, so I said more clearly, you see it ass hair ball, unlike the tail of it?

boss looked down to see the cat, and then faint replied: because it is the only male cat .......

10 words to live and sleep on the first floor in the women just do not corpuscles Moreover, We had lane edge or in the sleep of women according to statistics class 8 bedroom at night, without exception,UGGs, have been drinking too much like boys Shuajiu Feng struck windows.

day evening, around half past eleven

our class a knock on the bedroom window was mad when the bedroom is more than a few lights

scared little girl are moving the

finally our class ventured out of bed to open a small window of Sichuan sister just learning to use the northeast, then shouted:
a faint male voice came:

Sit up quickly squeezed the middle of the last row facing the aisle. Unexpectedly, another car just started screeching halt. r sister rushed forward a few meters down to the ground. Fortunately, the car crammed full of people who still find a seat. So she ran back seat head bowed up. Then a girl with her greeting. Was found to be students. Set of girls also kept warming up: Well, just a woman was rolled in front of the brake of a bomb to get to where you are renowned for not?

12 with breakfast we go to work. Female colleagues to the tea, looking back, A strange sound (laughter all round and round in the throat) when the classic male colleagues simply said,

13 There are times in the leadership of the computer to find files in a drive to see a folder: br> 14 always curious about the flow before the impact so great? Cook's that going to the toilet was down the aquatic impulse! ~ ~ Magic Oh! So going to the toilet once finished, nothing to do, when the hand into water flushing, the results of the impact of too much water, my fingers did not have any support! ! Results on the scene when inserted into the hand in the toilet. . . . . .

15 have looked for a moment they had finished playing badminton after the game, then go out into the 308 bus stop to go, I walked, I found 308 came at me a few days before -____-|||| This thing has already happened, there was no catch, so had to stop sign there and then wait for 15 minutes ... ... thought here, I decided: to recover! ! Then I ran away, has been, and remain basically parallel to the 308 ... ... and running, I ran a stop sign stop sign -___-||| next ... ... but I found that 308 did not want to stop ... I mean ... thinking that this miserable -___-|||

and then I looked closer and saw that the conductor where it -___-||| probe looked at me and then I quickly waved the car stopped down ... ... I just get on the train that the conductor said: LG inserted a sudden around

certainly shady

or how the finals are woman ...

17 today to the barber shop hair cut, barber a piece of cloth on my body started to cut (the barber is a mm), I suddenly thought of a little dirty glasses to rub in the following, the action a bit big. mm gave me a slap in the face ....

18 a day to see a movie with your wife, is a foreign film.

films have a child who is exceptionally cute, but talk is pretty,

which he called his father in the movie is: babi (Daddy) babi (Daddy), lovely thoroughly.

result my wife suddenly said to me, Oh, cute kids, our son also after the so called:

I just mabi (your mother) mabi (your mother and then a short )。。。。

petrochemical, two people funny ~ ~ ~ ~

19 high school, learning pressure, students they tried every means to desert, leave, but leave more difficult to go out.

time on the study before the three buddies find a teacher leave the podium with the podium, the teacher asked A: how you? A monarch: to complete a physical education today, bought ice cream, eat the results of a stomach ache. asked B: how do you going? B Jun: to complete a physical education today, I saw him (pointing to A) bought ice cream, I said, give me to eat a bar, and then it will have a stomach ache. the teacher finally asked C: What about you? C wrote: to complete a physical education today, I saw him two in that ice cream, and then I also bought a ... ...

20 husband has always wanted to bare (crab) to sleep together again because the students took some shots, a little floating home has been stripped and fell down asleep .. because .. do not tuck in the summer, so her husband lying on the bed and began to sleep naked. I watch TV on one side, also did not care about him, not long before her husband suddenly jump up, eyes still closed, and do not even look to see moved to the bed with a start I thought he was dreaming, was about to wake him, but a look wrong, he picked up his JJ shining directly on the wall ready to urine, I see the situation right, and quickly ran to the bathroom go get a wash basin Xiaopen PP, came to pick, so I came back, her husband had opened the gate as the reservoir, can not stop, and I did not keep up with the times, so damage to the wall ... After the in situ after her husband went back to the beginning of his dream of ... next day, her husband pointed to the wall asked me: Which of the Khan ...~@?#%? ... ...% ?

21 I studied computer science, and sometimes boring classes on the machine to play games, have a play simulator 1945 (aircraft game) to play a morning, noon, meet at the entrance to the cafeteria Dafan friends, he a bit far away from me, I shouted his name, went on to say: This morning, the plane hit one, hands are playing the pain! ~ ~ ~ finish that No, look around, that keep them coming back, ah, I forget!

22 I have a colleague MM, relatively cold! one day, our manager felt hot, so she opened the cold air conditioning! Wu Nai under , she ran away! manager sat for a long time, think it is hot! called to MM, asked her to open the air conditioning did not! MM said that he had! manager puzzled and asked, bloom is hot or cold? MM said solemnly opened two, hot and cold! At that time, the presence of colleagues violence sweat! After silence, MM weak weak to say that I am cold, want to come in and look forward to..

Jun 23 A one day that he wanted to do a food chain, called Today we eat anything?

B: do not know ah!

cold field ... ...

A: You see how this market ah ... ...

24 a heaven history lesson teacher let us recite their lessons, I probably read a book ten minutes, really bored and want to chat with the girls back but was worried that the teacher can find a circle did not find the teacher's presence. so secretly the back of the girls turned around and asked: Qucourenao together with his girlfriend, did not expect there to prevent AIDS in the stall made free **, that Aunt huge enthusiasm, I took four boxes when passing will plug into my arms, the edge of all people, ah, cried Aunt did not forget: young man holding ah.

26 words I always keen unconventional. two U disk connection failure of a named 『』 『found a virus called』. each time you connect the computer when they cheat to student teachers. very proud of.

there are times I asked the other classes come through U disk. I did not think, readily took gave him.

results man Take an interpolation back to the computer, showing that the virus, surprised. antivirus, useless. open a view, which also lacks important documents to easily help I formatted (this person computer white).

He used to return the next day specially emphasized this Shihai. I ah the � ... ...

you know, I was critical of the U plate are located the hidden files and do the job for two weeks ah ... ... ... ...

Shiguwucun a Since then, I have gray in each U disk often low-key =__,=

27 bit recently salivary gland disorders, excessive salivation, old in the saliva choking, coughing pitch darkness of the

a ppmm see me cough a lot and pretend to comfort me, Nisheng asked me: how friends?

cough I got angry, and that affect the image, finally straightening out the gas could speak, what she wanted to save

liberties face, replied: Love the lack of moisture, the old cough

voice hardly ever, a drop of saliva from the mouth involuntarily streaming down .....

28 day to get to work! a lady riding a pure electric car with a box of milk, crumbling! I get behind, riding fierce drive a few steps to catch up with that :

29 remember as a child once, I told my cousin to find two to vegetable grandmother. On the way to lead a stream, creek bottom full of mud, water, higher than the knee. Tuo Lexie

son my cousin (we all wear sandals) passed, I'm afraid water glass and the like have no nails off his shoes, the results of a shoe to fall into the mud, and we feel for a long time can not find my cousin said to go. Life and death I would not say: so long? I do not believe:

result, there it since the shoes. My bare feet on the back ...

30 junior high school, there is a final exam, the language teacher gave me the wrong sub-operator, and added a very, coupled with my examination of all other subjects Yes, the result is actually the whole year out of the first, when I was aware of Mongolia, is a daze, when observing the same table to take the test paper when I found the more a very, let him then do not tell vanity teacher.

until after school to go home, I have been in a trance, the heart is the first concern of the ** and double torment lie, home door, out of my dad asked me: like ah? extremely good ... ... suddenly his arm tightened my circle, I can not help but nervous, shy and affectionate look at him, hope for a long time, although I think this is a prelude to a bit long, although I think we're the eyes is not enough intersection, I'm still trying last look, the boyfriend said, for cooking. Vegetables a greedy woman to the river, she found the river to continue to drift melon flesh, so to finish it that tempts her to eat. Eat dozens of capsules, suddenly she found feces from upstream drift to cook - top Nianman the seeds ... ...

33, when a high school biology class, the teacher asked: where ** and eggs are combined fertilized? At that time I was fugue, the answer to the meaning of the sentence under the

34 have a math class, my classmates asked the teacher This question is not careful how to do wrong?

teacher said: 'I do not care how do you play?'

students subconsciously say: 'if I do not care how to fight back?

35 a buddy go to the beach in summer, saw a blonde on the beach playing with his children, the sun was shining, the children all alone. Guys love to talk to children accosted sudden,



buddy do not give up (learned in Japanese), but also try to ask again in Japanese.

children or ignore them.

helpless, man gave up, go back to tell us that,

br>
36 men face a Mensao bad acne, which can grow into a lush pile of the extent of a look

one day by chance struck up a conversation with a PLMM

this men bound to freak out extreme tension

sudden, things happened a very KB:

bad men and cheeks of acne actually a burst of yellow pus



spilled out of jet MM's face ...

MM Huarong pale, screaming away ...

37 play at home, his girlfriend have been in that side of the Internet, suddenly ran up the bed, I wonder what, Editor's Note, asked her answer was, I have the Internet is boring, take a chair around in play, the results turn dizzy. . . .

38 days before the first time under the snow. Weather was cold. A fast 7:00. Also without food. (Too cold will not come up with to buy food)

the hungry

my mom suddenly called me: hey ~ you cold

me: cool ~

Mom: eat yet?

I: No ~

Mom: Oh. Then we eat hot pot ah. .

I am depressed: You play the central idea of this phone is what? ~

Listen to her children there bored on the phone laughing. . I am speechless. .

This is my real mother. .

39 Mom:
mother: suddenly awakened for a moment, then flipped through the book, to sleep.

I would also like he is actually not that thing does not love learning, but also look at the book.

carefully looked at the results, when in fact, because of his saliva to give a full page of the book got wet, so he turned a few pages to sleep.

Khan .....

41 just on the college, a bunch of guys riding facilities just finished passing the vegetable fat.

Bobo said: Oh good taste stool weight, you have no taste you? When I was seventeen-year-old, long hair, also to the chin position. Since that is quite handsome.

go on the road, there is often a female friend looking back at me ~

only, that is full of eyes ... ... Why panic and alarm. . .

there, and that action ... ... the package to his chest, pulled tight. . .

also one of the most outrageous:

That night, I came out on the complete network from the Internet cafe and saw in front of a girl, and I live in the same unit, I think she should go home , and a natural route to go with her. At that time I head to the game which are all the things inside, she suddenly looked back at me, I did not care and continue to go. When crossing over, she looked back, and then when turning, but also looked back, I thought she recognized me, wanted to say hello to the past, so step up the pace to catch up. She probably heard my footsteps, terrified looked back at me, just me and my eye contact, I was about to speak, but she also started to run his mouth ... ... ...

looked at the back of her flying away, I stayed in place long, long time.

43 days ago, released the second section of the theme activities moratorium Guangdong Humen naval museum in the East Gate at the beach. And enthusiastic volunteers who released the fish into the sea, shrimp, sea turtles and so on.

was placed in one of these fish in the sea, immediately swim to the depths of the sea. Exception of a small turtle, I do not know why do you always identify the unclear direction. Released by several tens of meters away bring it to the sea shore, which swim ashore each time a direct U-turn, ashore crawling around aimlessly.

put a few unsuccessful, officers picked up the turtles released carefully checked and found it a little scratch in addition to a leg, the other is normal. This time, the gradual disappearance of the little turtles in people's line of sight.

44 son to kindergarten, the teachers teach, parents to attend.

teacher taught them single and double: a pair of gloves, a pair of socks, a pair of shoes ... .... Then ask: What is the pair of you?

my son first hand (I was flattered) and then get up off their clothes to the head, pointing to two little mimi: This is a pair. - @% ... ... ? I would!

45 day a group of friends to see KB in my films, I watched, a sister actually fell asleep. And we all hide in the kitchen next to the hut.

about ten minutes later, it still did not wake up my sister, so we intend to hit her cell phone to wake her, just did not expect this time into the movie, where a KB, the heroine scream, fell asleep sister woke up and shoved her watching, I saw around the dark, with no one on television and played a chase. The sister stunned for two seconds, and then ran into hysterical screaming while the main bedroom, main bedroom no one. She continued screaming and running down rooms, locking the door, howling and the sister came to our house to hide, come after us in complete disregard of laughing, threw himself at the bed and cry I said: =

46 mom used to work in the vegetable market, a take me home from work, passing through a buy now when smoked chicken, my mother and uncle talk inside a few, went away, uncle teased me: Diansha not eat?

slowly away.

47 today, I-year-old daughter asked me: sneezing, runny nose. important, give us examples: There is an explorer, a rock climbing a mountain, arms were pinned and he was decisively cut off his arm, after dressing and then simply climb, and finally saved!

49 students in our class and then asked: br> The teacher was very ashamed of politics, said: >
other students and then answered:

We are all high, the results, a look back,UGG bailey button, the old class is on the classroom door to a very deep look at us ... ...

and then we killed the ... ...

50 One day I just finished talking about his girlfriend Chun pure men, and when I reverently worship the spring of Columbia, when his girlfriend rather abruptly to the sentence: I am also a pure men ah! Yin Xiao

I look, shook her MIMI, said: That what is this?

girlfriend Yin Xiao a moment, quietly and clearly said:

chest!

51 graduated from university, we are very sad, often drinking, there are many related interesting, first that the right of a Sister Sister ~

San Huofan their class, we all drink , and basically helped to go back, for some that they suddenly broke free arm, staggered forward, said: a puddle edge (rain day) looked at half a day, direct flutter down, hands and feet and shouted plan ~

day during the night, my sister suddenly send a very strange laughter, woke up her mother

sister: Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Mom: What are you laughing ah

sister: My brother ... my brother ... Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Mom: how was your sister?

sister: My brother ... ... ... married to the emperor of the Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

mother :...( violence Khan)

53 At noon today, see the CCTV news channel, broadcast a national women's volleyball team reached the news Chenzhou training base, was mine host of discourse down.

the bus when the women's volleyball team reached base, host: women's volleyball team members regardless of road fatigue, Chenzhou, immediately after arrival into the hotel room to rest ... ...

54 Xiudou head looks like people have the time, just ride a bike Huile Tang quarters, because only one thing to take it upstairs, the car did not lock down the stairs to get finished, remove the lock, neat to the rear wheels lock, then a diving on the train, pedal

go ~~~~~~~ lying on the ground ... ...

55 I am a girl. High school, my body is not very good, in order not to affect the college entrance examination, family care nurse Biaoyi me an intravenous drip. Biaoyi gynecology nurse, she put me in a quiet separate arrangements maternity ward, an intravenous drip to the side while learning. One day, outside the ward to meet the boys in our class ... ...

56 drops even a boy, one day we went to have organized outdoor, outdoor life, when they have gone a lot of ground to grow a foot soak Road, go one step further pain about the coach said a sanitary pad in the shoe will be comfortable, past a small store can not wait to burst into the countryside to buy a pack of seven-dimensional lengthened, the boss said to me with a black bag loaded up, I said no installed, which cushioned my boss was shocked, and even said back pad installed, I say go back to the bloodshed, must now pad, the boss looked at me cheeky horror, my hand pads whistling away, temporary out said something, you crazy ah ... ...

57 today and a friend (female) playing cards online, she is my right home, that we are a party.

time I had set for J, she was out on K.

I asked her to send over QQ:

JJ do you pressure me? !

58 high school night classes, and students are Laoke fiery chatter it, suddenly discovered a fly landed on my desk, so the initiation of an idea: killing flies, and then pretending to eat. Then I shouted: all are! Then we do not speak at me, I spotted a slap shot dead flies in her hand, then picked up pretending to lick a bit, the result I really licked the ...

59 just the executive meeting,UGG boots cheap, The boss said: . !

sitting under a boss who is always simmering serious not to laugh, in fact, had internal injuries. . . !

ha ha!

60 times and friends there to go swimming, we swam was happy, to see a buddy chatting over NB phone out from the locker room, while he was naked! Moments that are not static pool, everyone looked at him, my dear friend who stood in the doorway, also continued to talk call, see the atmosphere a little bit wrong, looked under their bow, and then ... the phone to talk very calmly turned , walked into the locker room. Pause for 5 seconds throughout the swimming pool, laughing.

61 and friends walking in the street and found her legs coming out of an unknown thing, I went one step,bailey UGG boots, trod a whole Qiuku. . . Qiuku flesh. . .

62 embarrassing stories to tell my boss.

a boss receiving clients, late drink from the hotel out of the dazed, but still to the car at home.

someone to knock on the door early the next morning, the boss wife from the cat's eyes looked just like the boss said: It is pol.ice! Too drunk last night that the owner committed any thing to drink, called his wife Freeze speak, opened the door. pol.ice the door to ask: Where did you go yesterday? Boss: last night it had been at home, the boss mad wife in the next nod. pol.ice watched for a minute staring at him, said: We went to look at your car now! Ism, the boss down the stairs to open the garage door, suddenly dumbfounded. 110 police car parked in the garage! Feelings last night the police car parked on the roadside when investigators opened their own little white wonder all the way back Akira ~ ~ lights still on it fast enough!

63 things a few weeks ago thought behind the sweating - -

time that it charges SY tissue to begin with a magazine, a magazine used to not open until the turn, change The re-use (both free shopping guide magazine, so I do not feel bad.)

just changed the day before that the new magazine, with the top back on the shelf. Came the next day a female fellow chat will be days impress me a magazine that under the terms of the shopping guide, I look at panic, I fought the first page there are signs of strong ah ~

for stabilization asked her: you stick to see? She insisted that was too boring to look at.

I can not, take a deep breath, or had to go. She began to turn, and most people eggs pain of the moment, I saw her holding the cover turned over, the results of two pages later, that is, with the second page is passed directly to the third page. .

but she should see, because she only caught one, or see that there are two pages. .

nothing as she mounted read that book a long time holding. .

64 There are times to go see a woman in the street like the back of special Mom, so yelling !

cost me a while to pretend to exclaimed,
WAR. night sleep before my wife and I relish playing alone. Before long, his wife suddenly start sleepily awakened from a dreamless hard wide open asked: , his wife angrily: suspect's mobile phone positioning. To the operating room, to produce the relevant documents, requiring people to provide the final call the main location of the aircraft. Salesperson said: Excuse me, sir, I can not help you! Relevant legal knowledge to give her talk, told her the consequences if you do not help very serious, not just the acts of individuals, but also the punishment of the company, about ten minutes ... then the salesperson said: Do not say detention , fine. You shot me, I can not help you, you check the mobile phone number, I Unicom here! Kuang Han, and quickly leave

67 3 when the high school next to a supermarket, which has a very beautiful young girl Kandian, age, and we are about the same size, so we always have to school when nothing stroll to the supermarket, strike up a conversation. Once buy underwear, because I'm sorry, did not mind the size of numbers to look casually grabbed a bag, only to look back to the dormitory to know too. After much deliberation, bite the bullet and replace it (at that time can not afford to buy one), the manager saw a regular customer, let yourself go in for, did not think that the young girl had been standing to sell underwear, socks that do not go regional I sweat that, ah, the whole afternoon in his hand a bag of underwear has been in the supermarket Huang Huang ah, ah, the last is really no way to be on the study, and went over to his replacement, the young girl already know me, and asked him to To what, I am nervous, say, your underwear is too small, and I can not wear. . .

see me later that the young girl to laugh. . . . .

68 by a digital camera, and then go to the toilet waiting for a buddy dorm, ready to go **, and we have great under the toilet door of a joint, I place on a flash on the TV drama, just listen to which large call: I (crab) grass!

over, do not know ........

69 One night my husband to sleep, woke up .**'s on me and pro Youmo, I meet the Jiaochen a ~ ~ hate, why!! faces, with Yin Xiao, her husband further fade my underwear, I put the closed his eyes, the results did not the movement a long time, suddenly began to hear my husband snoring ............. , I have no choice but to wear their own underwear to sleep .. the next morning her husband questioned her husband did not know the results of his actions last night ........

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